Hypochondriac

H (1)

 

‘How are you?’ I dared to ask; that was a big mistake

I  had to listen to her litany of every pain and ache

‘I’m in bits with me arthiritis, me knee is giving me jip

I think they may be sending me soon, to get a replacement hip

I’ve just been to get me flu jab, I can’t risk it at my age

I could come down with pleurisy, or pneumonia at any stage

You know I’ve been in hospital…well on a trolley for a day

I was suffering with chest pains, they wouldn’t go away

You can’t take any chances, when it concerns the heart

But I was fine after a lie down,and a grand explosive fart

I’m a martyr to me piles as well,  they are a bastard thing

The only way I can sit down, is on a rubber ring

And don’t talk about me hernia, the pain it makes me green

The gastroenterologist said it’s the worst case he’s ever seen’

‘I’m surprised’ I said  ‘with such illnesses you manage to survive’

‘So is my consultant’ says she ‘ he’s amazed I’m still alive

I thought that I’d be there all day, I was sorry I ever asked

Thank God the bus I was waiting for, came along at last

My sigh of relief it was short lived, as I turned to say farewell

To my horror and  despair, she got on the bus as well…

I endured another forty minutes, all the way into town

By the time we got there, I was having a nervous breakdown

So a serious word of advice from me , wherever you may go

Never ask a stranger how they are, unless you REALLY want to know

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About trishnugentwriter

A wife and mother of four who writes and acts as much as she can in between the housework and shopping. I have been published in 'Irelands Own' 'Intallaght' and 'Tallaght Echo'. I have won prizes for poetry including 1st place in The Bealtaine Writing comp in 2012.I'm a member of drama group in 'An Cosan' in Tallaght and also 'Platform One' Writers group in Rua Red.
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