Tonight’s the night darlings. I’ve spent quite long enough on the chorus line. This is my time to shine.
Mummy knew when she gave birth to me at the Gaiety that I was destined for stardom.
Maureen Potter was in Panto. Mummy’s waters broke during the interval in the ladies toilets.
Bless her, she never did get to see the second part of the show.
I hope there’s no one pregnant in tonight. I’d hate any disruptions during my performance.
That bloody director of ours though; He hasn’t a clue about real talent.
Putting that Dervla one in the lead role, and making me her understudy. The nerve.
Dervla Doran! Can you see it on the Hollywood walk of fame? Me either.
She’s all arse and Julia Roberts smile. No substance to her at all.
The casting couch is alive and well, that’s all I’m saying.
Now; Maureen Mansfield. There’s a name you could walk on.
It’s such a shame Dervla won’t be here the one night that talent scout is coming.
I overheard Maurice last night telling her some critics from Variety will be in too.
What a stroke of luck for me. If mummy could see me now. She’d be so proud darlings.
This is the stuff of showbiz legends you know. I can see the headlines tomorrow.
‘Star of show in freak accident. Understudy wows audience’
Star my arse! Dervla couldn’t act to save her life.
Speaking of which, I wonder how she’s getting on at the hospital?
That was a nasty fall she had down those stairs earlier.
Talk about ‘Breaking a leg’.
Anyhoo darlings, I must crack on. Curtain up in ten minutes. Wish me luck.
Oh , that reminds me. I must remember to repair that loose top step.
It wouldn’t do to have a fall on opening night now would it darlings. 🙂