X is for X ray

I’ve had a few x rays in my life but my colonoscopy is the one I’ll always remember.

phototake_rm_photo_of_doctor_performing_colonoscopy

 

I had to go in for ‘investigative surgery’

Dreading it I was.  I had to drink litres of fluid to ‘clean myself out’ the day before.

If that wasn’t bad enough, when I got there the nurse said that they weren’t knocking me out first.

” Ah no way” I said ”I want to be oblivious to everything, just wake me up when you’re finished”. ”You’ll be fine” she said. ”You won’t remember a thing after your injection”

”The doctor will give you some anaesthesia, but you will still be conscious”

”Ah, I can’t stand Anastacia” I said… ”Can I not have a bit of Perry Como instead? I love Perry Como”

She was not amused.

I had to lie on my side on the operating table with a TV screen in front of me.

”I didn’t know I was allowed watch telly during the op” I said to the doctor. ”Have you got sky movies or the discovery channel?”

‘’This screen is connected to the little camera so you watch what’s happening through the procedure’ ‘ he said.

‘‘Discovery channel it is then!’’ I replied 🙂

I must have dozed off ’cause when I woke up they were filming ‘down below’.

There were my insides in front of me in full Technicolor. Isn’t technology great all the same?

‘’We must be careful’’ I heard the doctor say to the nurse. ‘’There’s a small chance of perforation’’.

I felt like a  feckin’ teabag.

I watched the screen as he snipped off a polyp. A polypectomy it’s called. Sounds like something my budgie might have. You learn something new every day don’t you?

I didn’t feel a thing though. The doctor said the colon doesn’t feel pain…who knew?

Why can’t your head be like that? Imagine no hangover of a Sunday morning!

Anyway, I got my results.

Two polyps and a hiatus hernia…

Sounds like a movie I saw once with Hugh Grant.

I just hope there isn’t a sequel.

colon

 

 

 

 

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About trishnugentwriter

A wife and mother of four who writes and acts as much as she can in between the housework and shopping. I have been published in 'Irelands Own' 'Intallaght' and 'Tallaght Echo'. I have won prizes for poetry including 1st place in The Bealtaine Writing comp in 2012.I'm a member of drama group in 'An Cosan' in Tallaght and also 'Platform One' Writers group in Rua Red.
This entry was posted in A2Z blogging challenge 2014 and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to X is for X ray

  1. Good lord. That must have been quite unnerving. I love how you managed to keep the humour alive in such circumstances. Bravo.

  2. ChristineR says:

    You’re right about that Trish, finding humour in almost anything. My husband had a bowel resection earlier in the year, after almost dying from a twisted bowel last year and two more hospital stays while on the waiting list. The other day we went to the regional town shopping and he said how good it was to be going there without someone sticking something up his behind. 😀

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